


Torn

by HollySophia



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bisexual Female Character, Closeted Character, Denial of Feelings, Larry Stylinson Threesome, Minor Eleanor Calder/Louis Tomlinson, Multi, Polyamory, Secret Relationship, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Build, Threesome - F/M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-04-18 12:25:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4705913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollySophia/pseuds/HollySophia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lainey Robinson expected that studying abroad in England would be an adventure. But what she couldn't have expected was meeting Harry Styles and falling for him. She also couldn't have expected that he was secretly in love with his best friend who just might feel the same way. And she definitely couldn't have expected to find herself loving them both, pulled into a secret and very unorthodox relationship between the three of them. But honestly, who could ever say no to Larry Stylinson?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Someone New

Lainey stared at the shelf in front of her, feeling like she must be the most clueless person in the entire world at this moment. It wasn’t like she didn’t have experience with buying tampons, after all. But Anna wanted something she had never heard of before: scented tampons. She couldn’t help but wonder why her friend needed her tampons to be scented anyways. They were just going to be shoved up into her vagina and that would be the end of it. It wasn’t like anyone would be sniffing around down there when she was on her period. Lainey paused, considering this thought for a moment. Then she decided that Anna was the sort of girl who would have people going down on her when she was on her period. She loved sex too much to let a little thing like vaginal bleeding stop her.

She cringed a little. The thought of seeing someone come up from eating her out, mouth covered in period blood, made her nauseous. Of course, she hadn’t ever had sex before so she couldn’t say with 100 percent certainty that she wouldn’t like it. But it was definitely far down on her list of things to experience. 

‘I can’t believe I’m thinking about this in the middle of a grocery store. Oh my god.’ 

In an attempt to stave off her awkward, not at all suitable for public thoughts, Lainey dove eagerly into the task of finding scented tampons. She searched the shelf from top to bottom, glancing at labels. When she reached the top shelf, she gave a heavy sigh. Of course what she wanted was on the shelf she couldn’t reach. She cursed her shortness for the billionth time, standing on tip toes to try to knock the box off the shelf. Her fingers came up just a few inches shy of her goal. 

“Damn it.” She muttered, staring up at the offending box of tampons. 

“Need some help?” A man asked, his voice slow and husky, made even better with his drawl of a British accent. She turned around to see a tall, incredibly attractive guy standing behind her, looking amused. It was obvious that he had seen her attempts to reach the top shelf. 

‘Double damn it.’ 

“Depends.” She replied cautiously. “Are you asking to be nice or to patronize me?” 

He half smiled, half smirked at her. “Maybe a little of both.” 

Lainey raised an eyebrow at his response, crossing her arms over her chest. “You should know better than to mess with a girl on her period.” 

“I have a sister.” He said, smiling. “I definitely know the dangers.” 

“You must have a death wish then.” She retorted back. 

He was grinning now. “If you’re going to be the death of me, I’d be glad to go.” 

Lainey rolled her eyes. “That’s such a line.” 

“But it’s not a lie.” He replied, giving her a look that was both serious and sweet. 

“You know, I didn’t ask for you to charm me.” 

“Am I charming you?” He asked, his green eyes twinkling. 

“Hardly.” She turned back to the shelf. 

He came to stand beside her, his dressy boots clacking on the floor. She smelled the faint scent of his cologne as he moved. “So is that a yes? Do you need some help?” 

She looked over at him. “I’m not gonna get any taller just standing here.” 

He laughed. “Are you this sweet with everyone? Or am I just a special exception?” 

She didn’t bother to answer. She simply replied, “Just get the tampons, smart ass.” 

With a mock bow, he said, “As you wish, madam.” He didn’t bother to look as he reached up to grasp the box with his long fingers. He kept his green eyes locked on her, a teasing smile playing on his lips. She rolled her eyes again but she knew she was just doing it for show at this point. It was clear that she had decided to like him and he knew it too. 

“For you.” He said, presenting the box of scented tampons like it was a treasure. 

She took it from his hands, trying to hide the smile that threatened to break through. But some of it escaped regardless and he smiled back. “What’s your name?” She asked. 

“Harry.” 

“Huh.” She said, tilting her head a little as she looked at him. 

“Something wrong?” 

“I just wouldn’t have pegged you for a Harry.” 

He gave her a little grin. “So what’s your name then?” 

“Lainey.” She replied, shrugging her shoulder almost like an apology. 

“I think that fits you perfectly.” He said sincerely, smiling. 

Without thinking (like usual), Lainey commented, “You’re a little odd.” She flushed at her stupidity, saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to be rude.” 

Surprisingly, he laughed. “Don’t apologize. I like people who say what they’re thinking.” 

“You’ll love me then.” Lainey muttered, looking down at her shoes. 

“Maybe I will.” He replied. Something in his tone told Lainey she should look up at him. She did and saw him gazing intently at her with his green eyes. For reasons she didn’t know or totally understand, she blushed. 

“If I gave you my number, would you call?” He asked curiously. 

She took a moment to swallow around the lump in her throat. “I might.” 

“I’ll take that chance.” 

He reached into the pocket of his skinny jeans and pulled out a black Sharpie. He held out a hand to her. “Your hand please?” 

Lainey didn’t even think about it. She stretched out her hand, placing it into his. He wrote ten numbers onto the back of her hand, his head bent intently over his work. She was close enough to his hair that she could smell musk and woods and the scent was making her dizzy. 

‘The good kind of dizzy though.’ 

Finally, he put the cap on the Sharpie and leaned back to examine his work. He seemed pleased because he looked up at her with a smile. “It was nice to meet you, Lainey. I hope you’ll call.” 

She managed to collect herself enough to smile back—in what she hoped was a teasing, mysterious sort of way—and say, “We’ll see.” 

He gave her another half-smirk before he turned to walk away. She told herself that she wasn’t going to watch him leave. And she continued to tell herself that as she stared at his broad shoulders, the way his skinny jeans hugged his legs and ass, and how his boots added about three inches to his already tall body. He was gorgeous. Even she could see that. But it was the sort of gorgeous that snuck up on you. It disarmed your defenses and got to you before you could think do anything about it. Not that you would want to though. 

‘Wow. I can’t even believe that just happened.’ 

She took a moment to compose herself before heading for the checkout lanes. It wouldn’t be long before she was back at the flat she shared with Anna and she had to get her story straight by then. Anna would want to know every single detail of what happened. Lainey wasn’t even sure she could remember half of it. She was in too much of a daze.


	2. Shiver

“You know I hate clubs, Anna.” Lainey said, not even bothering to look up from her computer screen. She knew Anna was standing there, pouting in the hopes of getting her to change her mind. However, she had made plans with herself to stay in and watch horror movies. Those were plans that she just didn’t want to cancel. Besides, it had been two days since she met that guy at the store and she was still working up her courage to call him. It was a lengthy process that she just couldn’t interrupt or she might have to start all over again.

“Come on, Lainey!” Anna whined. “You never do anything with me. You’re always studying and avoiding the outside world. You need to live a little.” 

Lainey rolled her eyes. “How original.” 

Anna plopped down onto the couch beside her. “You know…it’s not safe for me to go clubbing by myself. I could end up with all the wrong sorts of people. It’s much safer to have a club buddy.” 

“Why risk it at all? Just stay home. Much safer here.” Lainey replied, feeling no sympathy for her friend. 

Then Anna tried switching tactics. “I’ll buy your drinks tonight.” 

Lainey kept a straight face as she considered this proposal. 

‘Free drinks for being Anna’s wing woman for the night? But it will be so crowded though. I hate people. Well, being around people. But I like rum and coke. Especially if it’s free. Damn it.’ 

She sighed. “Fine, I’ll go.” 

Anna’s face lit up. “Sweet!” She reached out her hand to Lainey. 

Lainey gave her a confused look. “What?” 

“We have to get you ready, Lainey! You can’t get go in your pajamas.” 

Lainey looked down at her tee shirt and sweats. “This isn’t pajamas. I wear this to class.” 

Anna cringed. “God, you desperately need my help. Come on, you poor child.” 

Against her will, Lainey was dragged to Anna’s bathroom where all of her hair and beauty products waited to torment her. As she was pushed into the chair in front of her friend’s bathroom counter, Lainey winced at the sight of the eyelash curler and hair spray. 

'I fucking hate being a girl.' 

^^^ 

Lainey hated everything in this moment. She hated how loud the music was in this club, she hated the creepy guys who kept trying to grind on her ass, she hated how crowded it was, and she especially hated the dress that Anna practically forced her into. Anna said that it flattered her and, not wanting to insult Anna’s fashion sense, Lainey had gone along with it. However, this tight, hella tiny dress made her feel ten times more awkward than she already did. Thank God she talked Anna out of putting her in heels. She wouldn’t have made it through the night. Taking a quick glance at the mirrors on the dance floor, Lainey didn’t even recognize the provocative looking girl staring back. 

“I’m going for a drink!” She shouted at Anna. Her friend, who was dry-humping some random guy she had met five minutes ago, grinned at her over the guy’s shoulder. Lainey spat her tongue at her before picking her way through the mass of writhing bodies. 

‘Dancing is like an orgy. I swear it is.’ 

She finally made it up to the top floor of the club and headed for the separate area that made up the bar. It was quieter here and practically deserted. She guessed that downstairs was the more desirable place to be. Whatever the reason for the empty bar, she didn’t mind. 

“Excuse me.” She said politely. 

The bartender was wearing a black vest, tight jeans, and heavy amounts of eyeliner. He was really cute but she knew that he would have no interest in her lady parts. Not that she minded. He smiled warmly at her, saying with quite an enticing accent, “What can I get you, love?” 

“Rum and coke, please.” 

“Coming right up.” He said, turning to make her drink. 

She climbed onto one of the bar stools, as lady-like as she possibly could, before smoothing out her dress self-consciously. This whole look wasn’t her at all. It was Anna trying to make her look sexy. Lainey wasn’t sexy. Lainey was just… 

‘What am I exactly? Lazy? Too chill to wear makeup? Uninterested in trying to look pretty? No. I just don’t want to be noticed. This whole outfit that Anna forced me into is one big cry for attention. I hate it.’ 

She turned her seat around to watch the people coming into the club. They all seemed to be having fun. All of them were clearly in their best party clothes and ready to have a good time. At least somebody was. Then she noticed one of the newcomers. Her heart seemed to drop into her stomach. 

'Oh my god. It’s him. What’s his name again? Harry. Oh my god. How is he here right now?' 

He looked good. Really, really good. His long hair was held back by a dark bandanna, his long-sleeve, black shirt was unbuttoned enough to expose the tattoos on his chest, and he was wearing another pair of skinny jeans that hugged his long legs. 

‘He looks like one of those rock stars from the 80’s.’ 

At that moment, Harry looked over in her direction. Their eyes met and Lainey quickly turned her seat around, blushing hard. She couldn’t believe that he had caught her staring at him. This was not her day at all. 

“Here’s your drink, love.” The bartender said, placing her rum and Coke in front of her. 

“Thank you.” She replied, attempting to recover her composure as she reached for her purse to pay. ‘So much for Anna buying my drinks tonight.’ But as she rummaged through her small purse for her cash, someone handed a card to the bartender and said, “She’s with me.” 

The man nodded, walking off to run the card. Lainey sat frozen in her seat, not daring to look over at Harry. But she remembered to be polite, saying, “Thanks.” All at once, he moved in and whispered into her ear, his breath making her skin shiver as he spoke, “No need to thank me, Lainey.” 

He leaned back and she turned to look at him. His green eyes were dancing with amusement. “It’s good to see you again.” 

She honestly didn’t know why her brain felt the need to respond with, “I don’t normally look like this.” Harry seemed caught off guard for a moment, looking at her with a curious expression on his face. In an effort to make things better, she continued to blunder on with her comments. “I wear a tee shirt and sweat pants all the time. My friend practically forced me into this dress. This isn’t me at all. I don’t look like a hooker normally.” She blushed again. “Not that Anna is a hooker or anything. She just has weird taste in clothes.” 

‘Oh my god, please just shut up. Just shut up right now.’ 

Lainey snapped her mouth closed, preventing further embarrassing information from spilling out of her mouth. She went to take a drink and hoped that maybe Harry would realize how much of a weirdo she was and go back to his group. 

“You don’t look like a hooker, Lainey.” He replied, clearly not leaving like she had hoped. 

“Please don’t try to make me feel better. I know what I look like.” She took another sip, thinking, ‘I am so good at flirting. Really. Just fantastic.’ 

“You look like a beautiful girl who got dressed up for a night on the town. There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

She turned back to him. He was perched casually on the bar seat, watching her again with his intense, green eyes. “Harry, you came here to have fun with your friends. Not to listen to me bitch about how my friend dragged me here. Please, just go enjoy yourself.” 

“I am enjoying myself.” He replied, leaning forward to look at her more closely. 

In an effort to avoid his eyes, Lainey turned back to sip on her drink. She was confused by his behavior. ‘Why is he still hanging out with me? I’m not entertaining at all. There must be some reason for this.’ 

“What’s wrong?” He asked her suddenly. 

She froze up, not daring to look at him. 

“Lainey.” He said this more urgently. “What’s wrong?” 

“I just…don’t understand why you’re hanging out with me right now. You came with your friends. Why aren’t you hanging out with them?” 

“I could ask you the same thing, you know.” 

She tucked her hair behind her ear, before speaking partly to her cup and partly to Harry. “I don’t do this. I don’t like hanging out in night clubs and having random strangers trying to grind on me. This isn’t fun for me. I only came because my friend made me.” 

He asked curiously, “So why don’t you ask her to leave then?” 

“Because she’s dancing with a cute guy that she met.” She mentally added, ‘And I don’t want to ruin her night like I always seem to.’ 

Out of nowhere, Harry got up from his seat. He slipped his card back into his pocket and then he said, “You almost finished with your drink?” 

She was confused. “Yes. Why?” 

“Because we’re gonna get out of here and find something to do.” 

“Harry, you really don’t have to. Go hang out with your friends.” She urged him. 

He smiled at her. “As much as this might surprise you, I’m in the same boat that you are. I didn’t want to go out tonight either. But since neither of us is having fun, I say we go find something that is.” 

Lainey wavered back and forth, considering the offer. ‘I don’t know him at all. Do I really want to do something crazy like going off alone with him?’ She knew it was completely crazy to even think about leaving with a stranger. But the daring part of her urged her to take a chance for once. It wasn’t everyday that a guy like this asked you to spend time with him, after all. 

“Can coffee be involved?” She asked him with a small smile. 

His green eyes twinkled at her. “Of course.” 

“Okay then.” She downed the rest of her drink and eased herself carefully off the seat. “Lead the way.” 

He grinned, walking towards the front doors of the club. Lainey stood for a moment and watched him, trying to comprehend how quickly her night had turned around. Also, how strange it was that this boy always seemed to leave her in a daze.


	3. Don't Stop

She was perfectly aware that Harry was staring at her. She didn’t even have to look over in his direction—it was just too obvious. To hide that she knew this, Lainey took a sip of her coffee. “How can you drink that?” He asked. She glanced over at him and grinned at the way he was cringing.

“Very easily, actually.” She replied, sipping again. 

“I don’t know how you do it. I can barely stand coffee as it is. Putting all that sugar in it would just make it undrinkable for me.” He admitted, waving his hand over his teacup. “I’d much rather drink tea.” 

She grinned again. “You realize that you put sugar in your tea earlier, right?” 

“Just a spoonful—that’s how I drink it. Quite a few people in England do it that way as well.” 

“Back home, we have our tea cold and doused in sugar. Sometimes we put lemons in.” Lainey said, nearly choking when she saw the look on Harry’s face. He looked positively horrified. 

“Once again, how can you drink that?” 

She shrugged. “I grew up with it. It’s just normal to me at this point.” 

“God, America sounds like a horrible place.” 

Lainey laughed at him. Well, it was more like a sputter than a laugh, but still. “Right, because the way we drink our tea is the deciding factor on that.” 

“It is actually. The way you drink your tea says a lot about you.” He waved his hand in the direction of her coffee cup. “Of course, the way you drink your coffee says a lot too.” 

“Oh? Like what?” She asked, leaning in closer. 

He leaned closer too, whispering conspiratorially, “Like maybe Americans enjoy their sugar just a little too much.” 

Lainey knew what a normal girl would do in this situation. If she was sitting with a cute guy who made a comment like that, she would have playfully pushed his arm and said something clever. It couldn’t be too clever though, because it might come across as bitchy when it was intended to be flirty. But Lainey wasn’t a normal girl. 

She shrugged, saying, “Maybe we do. Could explain why the obesity rate is so high. But you never know.” 

Harry stared at her, looking surprised. Lainey looked down into her coffee cup, willing her face not to turn bright red. ‘God, why am I so awkward?’ 

Then he said, “You’re a little odd, aren’t you?” 

She remembered her words from before and looked up at him, noting the cheeky smile on his face. “More than a little, to be honest.” She replied, smiling sheepishly. 

“Good.” He said, taking a sip of his tea. “Makes life more interesting that way.” 

“You have no idea.” She replied, attempting to run her fingers through her hair but couldn’t. Then she remembered that Anna had put it into a massive ponytail on top of her head, ala Ariana Grande. ‘I really hate being a girl sometimes.’ 

“So what brings you here?” He asked her curiously. 

“I’m studying abroad for the semester.” 

“Any particular reason why?” 

She shrugged. “Just wanted a change of pace. I thought England would be perfect for that.” 

He nodded, absently stirring his spoon through his steaming cup of tea. “So what are you studying?” 

“Theater and literature. Go ahead.” 

He was confused. “Go ahead with what?” 

“Tell me that it’s pointless to study things that won’t get me a job later. Everyone else does.” 

Harry studied her now. That’s the only way she could really describe how he looked at her. No words, no movement, just observing her like she was some painting hung up in the Louvre that demanded to be analyzed. Lainey felt incredibly uncomfortable with his attention. ‘Why can’t he just be a normal guy? A normal guy would have a made a joke or done something to relieve the tension. He’s almost too comfortable with it.’ 

“Lainey, I don’t see anything wrong with studying things that make you happy. Why does it matter for you to get a job in the end?” 

She shrugged, pushing some stray hairs back behind her ear. “I don’t know. That’s just what I’ve always been told. You go to college to get a job so you can support yourself. That’s it, really.” 

“Not to be rude or anything, but that’s an incredibly sad way to look at learning.” 

“That’s America for you. Education is just a means to an end—nothing else.” She took a long drag of her coffee, relishing the feeling of the warm liquid as she swallowed it down. When she looked at him again, she was surprised to see him smiling. “What’s funny about that?” 

“Once again, America sounds like a horrible place.” 

She rolled her eyes at him. “You’re biased.” 

“And you’re not?” 

That was enough to get a small smile from her. His green eyes warmed at her reaction. She decided to change the subject, asking, “So what do you do?” 

“Well, before now I worked in a bakery.” He took a casual sip of his tea. 

“And now?” 

“Now I’m a musician.” He smiled at her, before saying, “Go ahead.” 

She frowned, confused. “Sorry?” 

“Tell me how no one makes it in the music business.” 

“Do you really want me to?” She asked, smiling at the roundabout way he was repeating what she had said before. 

He shrugged, looking at her with a teasing expression. “You can if you want. I’m strong—I can take criticism rather well.” 

“Well, I’m sorry to tell you that I’m terrible at giving it.” 

“Aww, well that does put a damper on this then.” He said, pretending to pout. 

She leaned in further. “What? You can only spend time with people who criticize you? Sounds a bit like sadism to me.” 

He nodded, now pretending to look serious about the subject, and failing. “Oh definitely. Sadism: it’s my favorite thing in the world, really.” 

“As delightful as that sounds, I’m not gonna criticize you. If you want to be a musician, then be a musician if it makes you happy.” She told him seriously. “Forget everyone who tells you that it’s pointless. That’s my advice.” 

“Thanks for that.” He said with a smile. “Really.” 

She smiled back, taking another drink of her coffee that was only lukewarm now. “So are you any good?” 

With a shrug, he said, “I suppose so. Are you any good at acting?” 

“Surprisingly, I’m not awful.” 

“What a ringing endorsement.” He teased, eyes twinkling with amusement. 

‘I like him.’ 

She gave him a look that somehow managed to be self-deprecating and flirty at the same time. “What can I say? I like to be modest.” 

He let out a short chuckle. “Clearly.” 

She remembered what she was wearing and blushed bright red. “Oh, shut up you.” 

“I’m only joking.” He said, grinning at her reaction and leaning forward in his seat. “You really do look lovely.” 

“You’re not half bad yourself.” Lainey replied with a cheeky smile. 

He laughed. It was bright, amused, and completely unashamed. Lainey didn’t realize that someone’s laugh could make her feel so at home, but somehow Harry managed to do that. Actually, everything about him made her feel at home. She hadn’t felt that way in so long that she had almost forgotten it was possible. He said, “Wow, I think that was almost a compliment.” 

“Don’t let it go to your head.” She replied, pretending to be serious though her face betrayed her. 

“Oh it’s too late for that.” He smiled at her. 

She snapped the fingers on her left hand, saying with a teasing tone. “Well shit. There goes the neighborhood.” 

He laughed again and she thought, ‘I could get used to that.’ 

^^^ 

“So what’s been your favorite thing about England so far?” Harry asked as they walked side by side on the path. They had left the coffee shop about five minutes before and walked aimlessly until they found a little park along the way and decided to explore. Since it was one in the morning, it was very quiet and pretty much deserted, which meant they had the run of the place. 

Lainey considered his question for a moment before answering. “Would I sound like a huge nerd for saying my classes?” 

He smiled warmly at her. “Only a little.” 

“I can handle that then. My classes have been so much fun. I’ve never looked forward to going to school before.” She admitted. 

“What do you like about them?” He asked her, looking back and forth between her and the well-lit path in front of them. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his jeans and he looked incredibly relaxed, which put Lainey at ease without even realizing it. 

She thought back to her Gothic Literature class yesterday. They had been discussing Stephen King’s ‘Salem’s Lot’ in great detail, debating the finer points. “That I can actually speak my mind. All the classes I had back home…well, I never really felt comfortable sharing my thoughts. I was always the one that sat in the back and hoped my teachers would never call on me. But here, it’s different somehow.” She was talking with her hands now, getting excited. “I mean, yesterday I debated the symbolism of someone staking a vampire and whether it was a feminist statement or a phallic symbol. I never would have done that at home.” 

When she looked over at him, Harry’s eyes were dancing with amusement. He said, “You seem to really enjoy this sort of thing.” 

“Well yeah, I guess I do. It’s nice to be able to speak up for once.” She said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Why didn’t you speak up in America then?” He asked her curiously. 

She shrugged. “I don’t know, really.” ‘I didn’t think anyone would care about what I had to say. That’s why.’ 

He stopped walking for a moment, turning to look at her. “Lainey?” 

“Yes?” She replied, confused about his sudden stop. 

“You don’t have to hide yourself from me.” 

She didn’t know what to say. She just stared at him. ‘How did he know?’ 

“I know we barely know each other. But I just want you to know that it’s okay for you to be yourself with me. I won’t judge you.” 

She said quietly, looking down at the ground. “I’m not hiding.” 

“You’re hiding right now.” He pointed out. 

She crossed her arms over her chest, looking away from him. Part of her disliked how easily he could read her. There were few people in the world that saw right through her, but it seemed that he was one of them. “So what if I am?” 

Harry’s face didn’t betray a hint of emotion when he said, “I wish you wouldn’t.” And then he started walking again. 

Lainey stared at him, completely unsure of what to do or say now. This wasn’t how she thought things would go when she agreed to leave the club with him several hours ago. Truthfully, she didn’t really know what she expected. But having him call her out on her bullshit was definitely low on the list. Was it like this for every girl when they left the club with some guy they barely knew? She didn’t think so. Without yelling for him to wait for her, Lainey walked after Harry. They walked side by side for a while and didn’t say anything. She knew that he was waiting for her to make the first move now. She hated making the first move. 

“Why do you care?” She asked him suddenly. 

He looked over at her, still not saying anything yet. 

“Like you said, we barely know each other. There’s no reason for you to care. So why do you?” “Let’s go.” He said, reaching his hand out to her. 

Now she was really confused. “Where?” 

“To the swings, of course.” He told her with a matter of fact tone. 

“Oh. Of course.” She took his hand and allowed him to pull her along as he headed for the nearby swing set. They sat down on the swings, side by side, and Harry instantly pushed himself back and pumped his legs, gaining altitude. Lainey just sat there, playing with the rocks at her feet. 

Harry started talking to her, his voice louder than usual to make up for how fast he was going. “I care because I like you, Lainey. You’re a genuine person and you speak your mind. I really like that a lot.” 

Lainey gave in, walking backwards in her swing before pushing herself off, pumping her legs to gain speed. She talked loudly back to him, saying, “I like you too, Harry. I didn’t know a person could feel like home, but you do.” He was moving fast enough now that all she could see was a flash of his smile. She kept rambling, beginning to feel silly. “God I’m absolute shit at this stuff. I feel like an idiot when I talk this much and you’re an absolute douche for making me.” She groaned, unable to keep up with him. “Goddamn it Harry, would you stop for a minute?” 

All of a sudden, Harry jumped off the swing and tumbled onto the ground, laughing brightly. Lainey slowed to a stop, staring at him with a confused look on her face. He recovered his hat and got to his feet, turning to look at her with a big smile. Before she knew it, he was crouching down in front of her and kissing her, one hand on her waist and the other still clutching his hat. She leaned as far forward as she dared, kissing him back. It was just a simple kiss: no tongue involved, their lips pressed together, but it took Lainey’s breath away. Harry broke the kiss first, pulling back to look at her with his warm, green eyes. 

“So apparently stopping isn’t an option for you?” Lainey quipped, trying to hide the fact that she had to catch her breath. 

Harry laughed again, his dimples appearing as he did so. “You never say what I think you’re going to.” 

“It’s a gift.” She said with a wry smile. 

“We should go on a date.” He said suddenly. 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “This wasn’t a date?” 

He grinned. “A second date, then.” 

“I’d be okay with that.” 

He leaned in to kiss her again and her eyes closed, waiting for him. After a moment passed, she opened her eyes and noted his cheeky smile. She shook her head, saying, “Weirdo.” Then she moved forward suddenly, crashing her lips into his. 

‘Who knew studying abroad in England would be such an adventure?


	4. Secrets

“Lainey Robinson. Spill everything—right now!” Anna demanded, not giving Lainey enough time to even close the front door to their flat.

Lainey glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s 3 in the morning, Anna. Why are you still up?” 

“Never mind that! You disappeared at the club and you’re not getting in until now? You met someone!” Anna said excitedly, about to bounce out of her seat on the couch. 

Lainey rolled her eyes in a good-humored way, heading to their kitchen for a drink. “Yes Anna, I did.” 

“Well don’t leave me in suspense! Tell me about them!” Anna insisted as she followed after her. 

“What’s with the gender neutral pronouns?” Lainey inquired. 

Anna waved her hand dismissively. “It’s a bisexual thing. I forget other people don’t do that. But quit changing the subject. Who is it?” 

Lainey sighed, filling her glass with water. “It’s the guy I met at the grocery store.” 

“That Harry guy? He was at the same club as us?” Anna’s eyes were wide. 

The shorter girl nodded. “Yeah, I bumped into him at the bar.” 

“That’s a huge coincidence. Wow. How did that even happen?” 

Lainey took a drink of water and shrugged. “Don’t ask me.” 

“So what happened?” 

“Well, we left and got coffee. We talked for a while, then we went on a walk to this park...” 

“That’s fucking adorable.” Anna cooed. 

Lainey gave her friend a snarky look for interrupting, then continued, “We went swinging for a little bit and he kissed me.” 

Anna looked like a child opening their best present on Christmas morning. “Oh my god! He did not!” 

“I can’t make up this shit, Anna.” Lainey said, rolling her eyes. 

“Do you realize that you’re living every girl’s dream right now? This stuff doesn’t actually happen to people, girl! It’s a fan-fiction plotline at best.” Anna was wildly gesturing as she spoke, which was distracting Lainey a little. She wasn’t used to people who talk with their hands. 

“Fan fiction?” Lainey said this with a question in her voice. 

Anna shook her head. “I have so much to teach you. Christ.” 

Lainey sighed. “Whatever you say, Anna. I’m going to bed.” She set her cup in the sink before walking around the counter to her room. 

“Are you gonna see him again?” Anna squeaked, following her to her bedroom door. 

“Maybe. We’ll have to see what happens. But right now, I just really want to go sleep, okay?” 

“Fine.” Anna sighed. “But we’re gonna hash all this out later. Hot boys that randomly show up to romance my friend are important conversation topics.” 

Lainey gave her a smile. “Goodnight Anna.” 

Anna waved her off, saying over her shoulder, “Goodnight cock blocker.” 

^^^ 

Harry closed the door to his flat, shrugging his jacket off before he hung it on the coat rack in the entryway. He noticed how quiet everything was and wondered if maybe Louis had gone to bed already. It was three in the morning, after all. But when he stepped into their kitchen area, Louis was sitting at the counter with a bowl of melting ice cream beside him. He didn’t even look up when he said, “You disappeared tonight.” 

“Sorry. I ran into that girl I met at the store the other day—Lainey.” Harry was unnerved at the way that Louis avoided his eyes. “I meant to text you but I was sort of distracted.” 

Louis asked quietly, “How did it go?” 

“Good. I had fun.” 

“Good.” Louis replied, taking a bite of his ice cream. He still wouldn’t look at Harry. 

To alleviate the awkward tension, Harry walked over to their cabinets and pulled out a glass. As he filled it with water, the older boy said, “You like her, don’t you?” 

Harry was beyond grateful that his back was turned to Louis at that moment. “She’s interesting and I like talking with her.” There was no way he could tell Louis that he had kissed her. He couldn’t even muster the courage to say those words aloud. 

“But do you like her?” Louis pressed him. 

“Does that matter?” Harry countered, clutching the glass like a life line. 

Louis got quiet again. Harry turned around to look at him. The older boy was staring down into his bowl, once again refusing to make eye contact. Harry repeated himself, “Does it matter?” Louis still wasn’t talking, so Harry set his glass down on the counter and walked over to him. 

“Lou.” He said, pressing his hands to his shoulders. “Talk to me.” 

“What do you want me to say?” Louis murmured quietly. 

“How you’re feeling would be good.” 

Louis shook his head. “I’m not going there, Haz.” 

“Why not?” Harry asked, letting his arms drop back down to his sides. 

“Because we’ve been over this. We reached an agreement. It’s done.” 

“Doesn’t have to be.” Harry said meaningfully. 

When Louis suddenly looked up at him, blue eyes flashing, Harry felt something knot up in the pit of his stomach. Despite the fact that his friend was getting angry, he was still so beautiful. “Yes it does. You know it does. We can’t risk the band’s future because we’re both too damn selfish.” He lowered his voice. “Besides, I’m dating El now.” 

“Wonder why.” Harry stated bitterly. 

“You can think whatever you want, Harry. But I like her. That’s it.” Louis got up from the stool, clearly heading for his room. 

“Why are you so afraid of what you want?” Harry asked, his voice sounding angrier than he intended. But it was too late to take it back now. “What happened between you and me was—“ 

Louis cut him off, saying, “It was a one-time thing. You and I both agreed on that. For the sake of our futures and for the boys’, it has to be.” 

“Then why does it bother you so much that I was out with someone else?” 

The older boy said nothing and Harry knew that he had boxed him into a corner. He wasn’t sure if anything good would come from that, but at least he could get Louis to see something of the truth. However, to his frustration, Louis only said, “I’m going to bed.” 

Harry couldn’t be bothered to follow after him to continue their argument. He was much too tired and he knew he would get absolutely nowhere even if he tried. But part of him secretly hoped that maybe he could persuade Louis to see reason. The night they had shared together did mean something—to both of them. Harry knew that their whole relationship had been building up to that point ever since the moment they first met. Just a year ago, he had dropped his phone on the bathroom floor at a concert. But before he could bend down to retrieve it, Louis had appeared from nowhere, getting it for him with a gentle, teasing smile. The moment he saw his blue eyes, Harry knew that he was going to fall for him. It was inevitable and he didn’t have any plans to fight it. But Louis it seemed would be a much harder sell. 

After their X-Factor win, Louis wasn’t about to jeopardize the band or their record deal by starting a relationship between the two of them. He cared too much for the future of One Direction and the thought of dating his band mate and things going south utterly terrified him. Not to mention that he wasn’t exactly certain of his sexuality or what he really wanted. This made it easy for him to jump into a relationship with Eleanor Calder, some friend of a friend that had suddenly become part of his life. 

But Harry could see right through the sham that Louis was playing at. He was too scared to admit how he felt, so hiding those feelings behind the mask of a hetero-normative relationship was the only thing he knew to do. Part of him wanted to hate Louis for the way he was acting, but another part of him understood that the older boy was afraid of himself and what he wanted. Harry wasn’t going to let this be the end though. He loved Louis too much to let that happen.


	5. Running (From My Heart)

H: Good morning, beautiful.

L: I bet you say that to all the girls. 

H: Only the beautiful ones. ;) 

L: So all the girls? 

H: Look at you being a feminist at 7 in the morning. 

L: It’s called dedication. Feminists turn down for nothing. 

H: So I’ve noticed. H: Would your lovely, feminist self like to meet me for coffee later this afternoon? After your classes, of course. 

L: My lovely, feminist self will consider your proposition. Meanwhile, I have to get ready for class. AKA—putting on sweats. 

H: Sounds sexy. 

L: Weirdo. 

^^^ 

She actually put on her nice jeans when she got back to her flat, so she felt like this might turn out to be a semi-good date. Was this a date though? They had discussed going on a second date but they hadn’t ever specified that this was it. Had it been implied at any point? Lainey flicked back through their text conversation, trying to see if Harry had said anything that would confirm this. No, not really. So she was just thinking way too much about this and what every little thing meant. ‘Yeah, pretty much. That’s kind of what I do.’ 

“Just assume it’s a date unless he says otherwise. And quit freaking out. You act like a spaz when you freak out.” Anna had said, trying in her own way to be reassuring. Mostly she had just made Lainey more nervous, to the point that she had almost walked out of their flat with her shirt on backwards. Thankfully Anna had noticed before she got too far. 

“Chill out, Lainey. It’s just a date.” Anna said soothingly. 

“I’m gonna die.” Lainey moaned, trying to fix the tangle of curls that was her hair. 

“You’re not gonna die. Quit being a drama queen. That’s my job.” Anna slapped Lainey’s hands away from her hair and went to work on taming it. Lainey just sat in Anna’s chair, staring hopelessly at her reflection. ‘At least my ass looks nice in these jeans.’ 

Anna snorted. “You look like a sad puppy when you make that face.” 

“I’m so glad that I amuse you. That’s my main goal in life— to amuse Anna with how hopeless I am.” Lainey replied sarcastically. 

“You aren’t hopeless, you twat. If you just spent more time on your hair and makeup, instead of bitching, you might actually feel a bit better about yourself.” 

Lainey shook her head. “I’m too lazy for that shit.” 

With a roll of her eyes, Anna said, “Clearly.” Finally, she was done messing with Lainey’s hair and stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Not bad, Robinson. I’d take you out myself if you decided to bat for the other team.” 

Lainey grinned at her. “I bet I’d make a pretty decent lesbian.” 

Anna leaned down, bringing herself to Lainey’s height in the mirror. She smiled at the younger girl, saying, “You’d be more than pretty decent.” Then she pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek. “Now get going already, you don’t want to be late.” 

Lainey was still thinking about her roommate as she walked from their flat to the coffee shop where she and Harry had decided to meet. She and Anna had only known each other for a month but somehow it felt like they had always been friends. She was nervous at first about meeting her roommate and fervently hoped that they wouldn’t be a total psycho since she had to live with them for the semester. But then Anna had walked in on the first day and said, “God, I seriously need a fucking decent cup of coffee. You want to scope out a good place with me?” Lainey knew that they were going to be the best of friends right then and there. 

In a funny turn of events, the coffee shop that she and Anna found was actually the one where she was going to meet Harry. She had suggested it since it was nearby and she actually knew what she would order and the best places to sit. These were important things to know when you were going on a date…or if you were just a paranoid, control freak. 

She arrived at the coffee shop around 2:50, which was ten minutes before Harry said he would meet her. Now she could scope out a place to sit and order her drink ahead of time. She was a genius. A god among control freaks, if you will. But to her surprise, she heard someone call her name. She turned and saw Harry waving at her from a booth in the corner. Part of her was surprised that he had showed up earlier than her and part of her was freaking out that he did. She walked closer to him, noting his red plaid shirt and hat that seemed like a fedora but definitely wasn’t. ‘He has a very interesting style. Is androgynous the right word for it? Hmm.’ 

“Hi.” She said, sliding into the seat across from him. 

He smiled back at her, saying, “Hello there. How are you today?” 

“Well, now that I’m about to have coffee I’m much better.” She replied honestly. 

Harry grinned. “I’m beginning to think you might be an addict.” 

She shrugged one shoulder. “There are worse things to be addicted to. Besides, you’re supposed to have one cup of coffee a day to prevent the onset of Alzheimer’s.” 

“And how many have you had today?” He asked, his eyebrow arched in her direction. 

“That’s beside the point.” She replied, a guilty smile on her face. He knowingly smiled back at her and she relented, saying, “Okay. This is about to be my fourth.” 

He sang his reply to her, a gentle, mocking tone to his voice, “Addict.” 

“Only a little.” She could feel her face heating up. So to avoid looking at him, she started messing with the sleeves of her hoodie. It was a nervous habit that she’d had for as long as she could remember, but that didn’t mean that she liked it. Mostly, it just made her feel more awkward. As she stared down at her sleeves, his hand reached over to cover the top of hers. She looked up at him.“You know, conversations work a lot better if you can see each other.” He said with a smile. 

She replied with the same tone of voice he used. “You know, I didn’t ask for you to charm me.” 

“I can stop any time you like.” 

“Never would be good for me. What about you?” 

His green eyes were warm and amused. “I was thinking the same thing actually.” 

“Good.” She began to slide out of the booth and said, “I’m getting coffee now.” 

He grinned at her. “You do that. I’ll be here.” 

As she walked up to the counter, she tried very hard to control the smile that threatened to split open on her face. She liked Harry a lot. It was rare that she met someone who got her sense of humor and sarcasm, but when it happened she was quick to welcome them into her inner circle. However, things were different with Harry. She could see herself being more than just friends with him, which meant that she had to be careful about how things were going. It was one thing to let friends in so quickly but something entirely different for a potential… 

‘Boyfriend.’ Her mind filled in the blank for her and she smiled a little, happy smile at no one. 

“What can I get you?” The girl behind the counter asked, looking incredibly cool to Lainey with her long black and green hair that was shaved on the left side. She was so beautiful and had one of those faces that you knew would light up when they really smiled. Lainey loved people like that. 

Lainey smiled at her, trying to be friendly. “Could I get a large latte please?” 

The girl gave her a half smile in response, saying, “Sure. 2.70 please.” 

Lainey fished through her handbag for the cash and when she finally found it, handing it over to the girl, she said, “I love your hair by the way. It’s very cool.” 

“Well thank you. Not everybody think so.” She replied, looking a bit friendlier now. 

“Screw them then. They’re just jealous that they can’t pull it off as well as you can.” 

The girl laughed. “You know, you’re pretty cool yourself. Is that guy over there your boyfriend?” She nodded her head over in Harry’s direction. 

Lainey shook her head, saying, “This is just our second date.” 

“He’d be crazy if he didn’t snatch you up.” The girl told her, starting to make her coffee. 

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to see then.” Lainey said with a smile. “But thanks for that. I’m really nervous.” 

The girl huffed at her. “Nothing to be nervous about. You’re pretty and obviously nice—he’d be lucky as hell.” She started to grin and then said, “At the very least, he’s a fan of your ass. He keeps staring at it.” 

Lainey blushed. “I mean, I didn’t wear these jeans for nothing.” 

“You’re a smart girl.” The girl commented approvingly. She leaned in close to Lainey, whispering with a conspiratorial tone, “If you really want to lay it on thick, drop something on the floor and let him get a better view when you bend down for it. You’d have to be sneaky, but it would be totally worth it I think.” 

“I’m absolute shit at flirting.” Lainey told her honestly. 

The girl thought a moment and then said, “Don’t worry, I’ll help you out. Whenever I give you the signal, just follow my lead.” 

“Okay.” Lainey agreed, slightly worried about what she had just signed up for. 

A moment later, the girl finished her coffee and started to pass it to her. When Lainey reached to take it, she noticed the girl wink at her and didn’t understand why. Suddenly, the coffee dropped to the floor, bursting open as it splattered the bottom of her jeans and the tops of her boots. Lainey was instantly apologizing.“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I’m such a klutz.” Lainey reached for the napkin dispenser on the counter, pulling out a handful before she crouched down to soak up the coffee from the floor. She couldn’t look at anyone because she knew her face was bright red from embarrassment. 

The girl came around the counter with a dish rag, getting down on her knees to help her. She whispered quietly, “So I realized that we didn’t actually pick a signal. But good job though. He can’t stop looking.” 

Lainey realized what was going on and blushed even harder. “You meant for me to drop that?” 

“Hell yeah. I’ve got your back.” The girl replied with a grin. 

“Thanks for that.” Lainey whispered back. 

Finally, they got the mess sopped up off the floor and the girl went back to make Lainey a new drink. This time she managed to pass it to her without any incident. The two girls smiled conspiratorially at each other. “You’re welcome.” The girl said teasingly. 

“Thanks.” Lainey replied with a broad smile. “What’s your name?” 

“Demi. What’s yours?” 

“I’m Lainey.” 

Demi grinned at her. “Enjoy your date, Lainey.” 

Lainey raised her latte to Demi as a toast and then made her way back to the booth where Harry was waiting for her. He raised an eyebrow at her. “You alright?” 

She nodded. “Yeah, just had a little spill.” 

He was smirking now. “So I noticed.” 

She thought, ‘Thank you Demi. You’re my hero.’ 

^^^ 

“I think I’m going to audition for a play at school.” Lainey remarked, holding her coffee cup between both her hands as she watched Harry’s reaction. 

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Really? What play is it?” 

“It’s called ‘A Glass Darkly’. My drama professor is directing it and he’s been gushing about it all week.” 

“I’ve never heard of it before.” Harry told her. 

She nodded. “It’s pretty new—I think it’s only been around for a couple years. Did you ever see ‘August: Osage County’? It’s sort of like that.” 

Harry shook his head. “I haven’t heard of that either.” 

“It got turned into a movie, Harry! It was nominated for several Academy Awards. There was a bunch of famous people who starred in it, you know? Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts…even Benedict Cumberbatch was in it. How did you never hear about it?” She was gaping at him. 

He shrugged. “I don’t really follow films all that well. I read more than anything else.” 

Lainey sighed, taking a sip of her coffee. “Well I can’t fault you for that. But since you don’t know, the whole premise of the play is the relationship between these two girls—Lindsey and Kelsey—who are best friends. Kelsey is a massive closet case and she's got a crush on Lindsey, but she’s too scared to do anything about it. And Lindsey’s a closet case too, but she hides it by being pretending to be straight.” 

Harry had a strange look on his face when he replied, saying, “That sounds…complicated.” 

“It definitely is. And right at the start of the play, Lindsey ends up committing suicide but Kelsey doesn’t know why. Then later, Lindsey’s entire family shows up and basically everyone’s trying to throw blame around for Lindsey’s death. It’s pretty much about dysfunction and lies and how things are never how they seem.” Lainey didn’t bother to hold back her excitement about the play. It was such a damn good story and she was so excited to be part of it. 

“So what part are you going to audition for?” Harry asked her curiously. 

“Kelsey. Her personality is a lot like mine, which makes me think I could maybe pull her off.” 

“How are you like her?” 

She considered his question for a moment before she responded. “We’re both very quiet and we’re constantly thinking about what’s happening around us, but we don’t talk about it. We have all these dreams and desires but we’re too afraid of what might happen if we tried, so we just forget about them.” She looked back at Harry and noticed the surprised look on his face. “Was that too much? Sorry, I’m not good at...people stuff. God. Sorry.” 

Now he was grinning. “You’re fine, Lainey. I was just surprised that you were so open about yourself. You aren’t usually like that.” 

“Acting makes me different, I guess. I can talk about myself if I’m someone else, which... is weird, I know. But still good, I think?” She was blushing again. “I’m just gonna shut up now. Good grief.” 

He was laughing at her reaction. His green eyes were practically dancing with amusement at this point. “Please don’t. I love hearing you talk.” 

“Why? I’m freaking awkward.” 

“Because I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re so real and you aren’t afraid to be yourself either. It’s amazing.” 

She felt uncomfortable again and looked down at her cup like it might support her in awkward solidarity. Instead, it taunted her with its half empty, slightly lukewarm liquid, offering no source of help. So she said, “You must not be around many honest people then.” 

The tone in his voice made her look up. It was sad and she swore she could almost hear a tinge of regret as well. “No, not really.” 

She reached out, holding his hand with her own. Neither of them said anything. They just held hands over the table, silently grateful for the other person and the fact that they understood without the need to speak. 

^^^ 

Louis heard a quiet knock on his bedroom door and took a breath, trying to calm his pounding heart. He hadn’t spoken to Harry since their fight the other night, which was a fact that weighed heavily on him. There was a part of him that urged him to apologize but he didn’t know how to do it without leading Harry on. Especially since all he could think about was the night that they won the X-Factor. He knew it was a bad idea from the start, but something about the adrenaline high, the alcohol, and the way Harry looked at him like he was the fucking sun made it seem alright. Louis couldn’t deny that he had wanted the younger boy. He couldn’t deny that he still wanted him either. 

“Lou? Can I come in?” Harry asked, his husky voice muffled slightly by the door that separated the two of them. 

“Sure Haz.” Louis replied, willing his voice to sound steadier. He needed to be in control right now or at least allow himself the illusion of it. 

His bedroom door opened and his best friend stepped into the room. It was strange to Louis how Harry had a way of filling up every room he was in; seeming to belong there more than anyone had a right to. “Hi.” He said, coming to sit on the bed beside Louis. 

“Hi.” Louis replied, staring down at his hands rather than risking a glance at his friend’s green eyes. 

“I don’t like when we don’t talk.” 

Louis said quietly, still not looking up, “Me neither.” 

“Would you look at me?” 

Louis just couldn’t bring himself to. Then Harry reached out and grasped his hand, saying with a sense of urgency, “Lou, please look at me.” 

So he did. No more fighting with himself, no more trying to tell himself that it was bad idea…he just did it. And Harry’s green eyes overwhelmed him like they always did. He couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. “Harry.” He said, unsure of what to say. 

“I want you.” Harry told him. The open look on his face completely undid Louis. He could see everything that the younger boy was feeling and it pulled at him, compelling him to act. 

“You know we can’t.” 

“But what if we could?” 

Louis shook his head. “We can’t let ourselves think about that.” 

“Don’t you want to though? Don’t you want to think about what life could be like if we were together?” Harry had moved in closer to him. Louis could feel the warmth of Harry’s breath on his face and it was making it hard for him to think. 

“I—I don’t know.” 

“What do you want, Lou? Tell me what you want.” 

Louis didn’t know what he wanted. Truthfully, he hadn’t ever really been interested in girls. He had dated one of his best friends when he was sixteen but only for a brief, few months before they realized it wouldn’t work out. But he had never thought that it didn’t work because he was…not into girls in that way. For a while, he just thought that he hadn’t met the right girl. But the moment he met Harry he knew the truth. It was the same truth that he was running from now. 

“I just don’t know.” He replied, completely torn about how to respond.\ 

“I know what you wanted last month. You said nothing had ever made you feel the way I made you feel.” Harry had a sad smile on his face. “Don’t think I forgot that.” 

“Things are different now, Haz. They have to be.” Louis told him, still aware that Harry was holding his hand and he was making no move to stop it. Despite the fact that he was sitting here, telling Harry that he couldn’t be with him, his heart was beating hard and his hands were beginning to shake, betraying him and the things he wanted but couldn’t say. 

Harry leaned in, pressing one of his hands to Louis’ face. “Do you want me?” 

“Don’t ask me that.” Louis said quickly, trying to turn away from the younger boy. But Harry surprised him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug. Louis’ hands were trapped in his lap so he just pressed his face into Harry’s long hair, breathing in the familiar scent of his best friend. 

“I love you, Lou.” Harry murmured, his voice almost lost in the crook of Louis’ neck. But Louis heard it all the same. 

“I love you too, Harry.” Louis didn’t bother to add the inevitable, “But we still can’t be together.” He just let Harry hold on to him, pressed so close that nothing could come between the two of them. It was so hard to fight what he wanted—especially when it was his very best friend who wanted him just as much.


	6. Foolish Games

These foolish games are tearing me apart,  
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart  
You're breaking my heart  
\--Foolish Games, Jewel

Lainey’s phone buzzed on her desk, right beside her laptop where she was intently focused on writing a paper for her Gothic Literature class. She forced herself to finish typing the sentence she was working on before she stopped to check her phone. Not that she would admit this to herself, but she hoped that it was Harry. They hadn’t hung out in three days—she definitely wasn’t counting—and it was making her anxious. So when she saw who the text was from, her heart sank a little. ‘Not Harry.’ 

Queen Bitch: I’m starving. Can you please finish studying so we can go eat? 

Lainey wondered when Anna had changed her name in her contacts. She didn’t even know that Anna knew her password. 

L: Nice name change, Anna. You can go without me if you want. 

Queen Bitch: I thought you would like it. You should see what your name is in my phone. 

Queen Bitch: I don’t feel like eating alone today. So move your pretty, little ass along. 

L: Quit texting me. I’m busy. 

Queen Bitch: Do you want to know what your name is? 

Queen Bitch: It’s Legs. In honor of those pants you wore the other day. 

Queen Bitch: Speaking of which, have you heard from Harry yet? It’s been like three fucking days already, which is forever in boy time. 

L: No. Now leave me alone. I’m working. 

Queen Bitch: But I’m booooooored. Entertain me. 

Lainey turned her head towards her door and shouted, “If you’re gonna keep bothering me, just come in here and do it in person!” 

From the living room, Anna shouted, “Finally!” Not even a minute later, Anna came bounding into her room and plopped down on her bed. Lainey didn’t bother to look at her. She just continued to type away at her paper. Apparently Anna didn’t like that her presence wasn’t being acknowledged, because she said, “But seriously, where are we on the Harry situation?” 

“Still nowhere, Anna.” Lainey replied. 

“I know he said he was gonna be doing stuff with his so-called band for a couple of days, but you would think that he would at least text you once.” Anna said, with a tone of disapproval in her voice. 

Lainey shrugged. “I guess writing songs is a lot more involved than it sounds.” 

Anna huffed, making a sarcastic face at Lainey’s comment. “As if. He’s totally stringing you along, isn’t he? You just don’t want to admit it.” 

Lainey finally turned to look at her friend. It was weird to hear someone else voice her fears out loud. But truthfully, she really did feel like Harry was just playing with her. She knew it was stupid to feel that way because he hadn’t done anyth,ing like that. He was just busy and didn’t have time to text her. That was all. But the anxious, self-conscious part of her was afraid that he didn’t actually like her and maybe this was his way of showing that. She was just thinking about this way too much. ‘Time for a break, Robinson.’ 

“I’m ready for lunch now.” She announced suddenly. 

Anna shook her head, saying with an irritated tone, “Oh no, you aren’t getting away from this. We’re going to talk about your love life if it kills me, Lainey Robinson.” 

“And we will, but while we stuff our faces with food.” Lainey replied with a smile. 

Anna sighed. “Fine. I can’t say no to food.” 

Lainey went to her tiny closet and pulled her warm coat out, quickly slipping it on over her oversized tee shirt and leggings. She started to walk out her bedroom door and Anna said, “Umm, aren’t you forgetting something?” She gestured to the phone on Lainey’s desk. 

Lainey shook her head, saying, “Nope. I’m taking a break from that too. If he texts me, then that’s cool. If he doesn’t, then I’m not gonna worry about it.” 

“You’re a brave woman.” Anna told her with admiration and disbelief in her voice as she followed her out the front door of their flat. 

Not even five minutes after they left, Lainey’s phone began to buzz on her desk with a text from Harry. 

^^^ 

Harry pressed the send button on his phone, wondering why he was doing this. This being his pursuit of a…whatever it was that he had with Lainey Robinson. He liked her, of course. There was no disguising the fact that he enjoyed her company, that he wanted to spend time with her, and that he also found her very attractive. But he wanted to know what his intentions were with her. Did he want a relationship with her? Maybe. Was he using her to get back at Louis? Also a maybe. Was she his way of forgetting about Louis? That’s a maybe too. Essentially, he had no clue what his intentions were with her. Typical. 

The past three days he was writing songs for the upcoming album with the other three boys and Louis, which meant that he was in a bad mood. Louis had held him at a distance the whole time they were together and always made sure that someone was around. It was like Louis was afraid that he would try something with him otherwise. Harry wasn’t stupid. He resented Louis for acting so jumpy and nervous around him when he was just trying to be his friend. Granted, he was his friend who wanted to fuck him so badly that he had continuous, wet dreams about doing just that, but it still counted as friendship. 

Once they got back from their marathon songwriting session, Harry decided that he needed a break from the older boy. Especially since he invited Eleanor over the instant they got back and that did nothing but piss him off. He hated that Louis felt the need to parade his “normal, straight relationship” in front of him just to make a point. Harry could take a hint. Louis didn’t want anything to do with him if it came to feelings beyond friendship. 

‘Clearly. They could probably see his denial from space at this point.’ 

He slid his phone back into his coat pocket and stared at his surroundings, trying to take his mind off how infuriating Louis was being lately. Currently, he was at the park where he and Lainey had gone on their date and it seemed like a completely different place during the day. He had elected not to sit on the swings, but on a nearby bench. He could still picture the look on Lainey’s face when he had kissed her. The kiss had surprised both of them if he was being perfectly honest. He didn’t know what had come over him in that moment, except that he just had to kiss her or he didn’t know what he would do. 

‘I’ve never felt like that about a girl before.’ He thought to himself, considering the implications of what that meant for him. 

He had always found girls attractive and he liked to look at them and flirt with them, but he had never been interested in one romantically before. He had certainly never wanted to kiss a girl before. So why was Lainey so different? Why did she change his opinion so drastically? He didn’t feel like putting a label on himself so there was no need to figure out whether he was gay or bisexual or anything. He loved Louis and was sexually attracted to him. He was interested in Lainey and he liked kissing her too. But did he want more with her? He never had a type of girl in mind that he would like, but he realized that he did like Lainey. Did he want the same sort of thing with her that he wanted with Louis though? He just wasn’t sure yet. 

His phone started ringing in his pocket and he quickly pulled it out, scanning the caller ID. He had been hoping that it would be Lainey, but he wasn’t disappointed to see that it was Niall instead. Quickly pressing the answer button, he said, “Hey Ni.” 

“You’re a sound for sore ears, mate!” 

Harry smiled at the familiar sound of the Irish boy’s voice. “We’ve seen each other the past three days, you realize.” 

Niall huffed in his ear. “Like that counts. We were working for most of that anyways. So we definitely need actual hangout time outside of the studio.” 

“I don’t know…aren’t you going to get tired of me?” Harry asked with a teasing smile that he knew his friend would hear. 

“As if. Now get your ass over here. I’m not gonna take no for an answer, Styles!” 

Harry laughed. “Alright, alright. I’m coming over.” 

“Sweet! See you soon!” 

When he hung up the phone, Harry realized that he felt lighter and much happier now than he had a few minutes before. He was beyond grateful to have a friend like Niall Horan in his life. Whatever magical powers the boy possessed, he always managed to bring everyone together as friends, no matter what was happening with the band. Harry couldn’t imagine what One Direction would be like if their happy-go-lucky Irishman wasn’t with them. Honestly, he never wanted to know what that reality would be like. So he slipped his phone back into his pocket and got up from the bench, headed for Niall’s flat. He wondered if Lainey would text him back soon. He also truly hoped that she would. 

^^^ 

Louis heard his phone vibrating on the nearby coffee table, but he didn’t intend to answer the call. Whoever it was would just have to wait until later…much later. Eleanor was on top of him, kissing him slowly as she was grinding her hips against his. He was trying so hard to stay in the moment, but it was difficult because every time he closed his eyes to kiss her back, his mind was force feeding him images of the night he spent with Harry. He wanted so badly to want El. He wanted to lose himself in her. He wanted to forget everything when he was with her. But he just couldn’t. 

Eleanor broke their kiss and stared down at him, looking concerned. “Is everything alright?” 

He nodded, taking a deep breath of air. “Sorry. Everything’s fine.” 

“We can stop if you want.” She offered, starting to draw back from him. 

He reached out and pulled her back against his body. He couldn’t fuck this up. He just had to focus all his attention on her and eventually things would happen on their own—he was sure of it. “I definitely don’t want to stop.” He breathed, lowering his voice to make it sound huskier as he gave her what he hoped was a sexy smile. 

Eleanor smiled back. “Good. I don’t want to either.” 

She dove right back into their make-out session with renewed passion. In the middle of a kiss, her hands reached down to grope his crotch and he let out a small gasp. ‘At least that works right.’ He started to squeeze her breasts through her shirt, observing her reaction to make sure he was doing the right thing. She was moaning so he assumed he was okay so far. ‘This can’t be too different from what I did with Harry, right?’ And just like that, he was thinking about Harry again. He remembered the way the two of them had kissed that night and how Harry’s sinful mouth had left him breathless. Everything felt so right. The way they touched, the way they kissed, even the way they fit together was perfect. Nothing like what he was experiencing now. 

He pushed that thought out of his mind and poured all his energy into the girl on top of him. He just had to turn her on and then get her off. It was simple. This was what he wanted, right? But every single thing they were doing, he was comparing to what he did with Harry. And it wasn’t measuring up. At that moment, Eleanor’s watch started to beep and she broke their kiss again, saying, “Shit, I forgot that I have class soon. I’ve got to go, Louis.” 

Louis sat up on the couch, confused and relieved at her sudden decision to end their make out session. “Are you sure?” 

She nodded, grabbing her bag off the floor. “We’ll have to finish this later, love. Sorry.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and dashed off towards the front door. As soon as heard the door shut behind her, Louis felt normal again. He threaded his fingers into his shaggy hair, taking a deep breath to steady himself. 

“What just happened?” He said to no one. “And what the hell is wrong with me?”


	7. Validation

Harry’s lovely nap was rudely interrupted by his phone buzzing, insistently telling him that he had a text and he needed to read it right this instant. He groggily began to look around, trying to figure out where he could have left it. “Niall.” He said in one breath, rubbing his eyes. “You seen my phone?”

Niall looked over at him from his over-sized recliner and said, “Did yah check the couch? Maybe it fell inside it or something?” 

Harry groaned, reaching around the couch cushions in the hopes of recovering his obnoxious phone so he could throw it against the wall. After searching the cushions, he got up and pulled all the pillows off the couch, growing increasingly frustrated. 

With a grin, Niall said, “Tear my couch apart why don’t you?” 

Harry gave him a displeased look. “You could help me look, you know.” 

“Sorry. I’ve achieved the ultimate state of comfy—can’t be arsed.” 

Harry propped his hands on hips, eyeing the Irish boy with what could only be described as a look of an evil sass. “I’ll remember this.” 

Niall waved him off. “I’m sure you will.” 

With a shrug, Harry replied, “Fine. Guess you’ll have to find someone else to make take-away runs for you.” 

“Low blow.” Niall said with narrowed eyes. 

“This is war. No time for diplomatic solutions—just aggressive negotiations.” 

The younger boy’s mouth twitched a little at the reference and Harry knew he was trying hard not to smile. Somehow Niall managed to regain his composure and said, “Fine. Look under the couch then.” Harry flashed a grin, knowing that he had won. He got down on his knees and reached under the couch, his fingers touching the flat surface of his phone screen. “Aha!” He cried, dragging it out into the open and holding it in the air, almost like he had achieved something. Niall watched him with an amused expression. “Congratulations, you found your phone. What an accomplishment.” 

Harry flipped the bird at him for that one. Niall just laughed. 

“So who texted you anyways?” He asked curiously. 

Harry pressed the button on his phone to wake it up and smiled when he saw Lainey’s name. 

Lainey Robinson: Glad to see that songwriting didn’t kill you. I wasn’t worried or anything…okay, maybe a little. 

“It’s her, isn’t it?” Niall asked. “That Lainey girl?” 

Harry looked up at him with a smile. “Yeah, it’s her.” 

Niall leaned back in his seat with an easy smile of his own. “Knew it. You don’t look like that for just anybody.” 

“Look like what?” 

“I dunno…happy I guess.” 

Harry gave him a look. “Other people make me happy too.” 

“Not like her they don’t.” 

“Whatever you say, Ni.” Harry told him indulgently, typing in his code before he tapped into his contacts list. 

Niall gave him a knowing look and asked, “You texting her back?” 

“Doing one better.” He replied, pressing the call button on Lainey’s name. Without thinking about it, he then pressed the speaker button and the sound of the phone ringing echoed in Niall’s living room. Niall leaned forward in his recliner, clearly curious. Harry realized that none of the boys had even met Lainey yet. He would have to change that. 

“Well hello there, stranger.” 

Hearing her sweet, steady voice already had a calming effect on him. He smiled at her words, saying, “Hey yourself. You’re on speaker, bytheway.” 

“Oh? Who’s there with you?” 

“Hello!” Niall replied, practically singing this word. 

“That’s my friend, Niall.” Harry told her. 

Niall huffed, coming closer to the phone. “Friend? We’re practically brothers at this point.” 

Lainey laughed at his comment. “Well hello then to you too, Niall. Nice to meet you.” 

“I don’t know if this actually counts as you two meeting.” Harry said, grinning a little. 

“Agreed.” Niall was sitting right next to Harry now. This fact wasn’t lost on the older boy who found it rather amusing. 

“I guess we’ll have to fix that then, huh?” Lainey said, and Harry could hear the warmth of her tone coming through. “What do you think, Harry?” 

He nodded, and then realized that Lainey couldn’t see him. Niall sniggered at him as he recovered, saying, “I definitely agree. Want to come over to my place for dinner tonight and the three of us will hang out?” 

“Hmm, I don’t know…I’ll have to check my schedule.” Lainey replied, sounding distracted. Then the cheery tone was back to her voice. “It looks like I have a whole lot of nothing to do later so count me in!” 

Niall laughed at her response. Harry was encouraged by his friend’s reaction to her, even if they hadn’t actually met in person yet. For some reason, out of nowhere, he really wanted Niall to like her. It wasn’t like it would be hard for Niall to like her, because he had the tendency to like most everyone he met. But Harry had never felt this way about a girl before and that made it important to get his friend’s approval. It was like Niall would be validating his feelings in a way. 

“How about seven?” Harry suggested. 

He could tell Lainey was smiling when she said, “Sounds perfect.” 

He smiled back, even though she couldn’t see it. “I’ll text you my address, alright?” 

“Okay. I’ll try not to get too lost.” She said with a tone of self-deprecating humor in her voice. 

Harry chuckled. “I’m only a phone call away if you need it.” 

“Oh I know. Hey, I’ve got to get back to writing my paper but I’ll see you tonight, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

She surprised him when she said, “Bye Niall!” 

Niall laughed brightly. “Bye Lainey!” 

The moment Harry ended the call, Niall looked over at him and said, “So I know I haven’t actually met her yet, but I like her.” 

Harry just gave him a wry smile in response. 

^^^ 

“I’m gonna die. I’m literally gonna die.” 

She could see Anna rolling her eyes at her and Lainey didn’t even care because she was too stressed out. She was going through all the clothes in her tiny closet, her dresser, and the storage under her bed in a frantic, crazy way. Anna was lounging in her desk chair, watching her panic with an almost bored expression. 

“Would you calm down already? You aren’t gonna die.” 

Lainey paused in the middle of tossing another piece of clothing into the growing pile on her bed. She turned to look at her friend with a stunned expression on her face. “How can you say that? Do you realize what’s happening tonight?” 

“You’re going over to Harry’s flat. Big deal.” 

Lainey threw her hands in the air. “Are you kidding? That’s not why I’m freaking out. I’m freaking out because I’m meeting one of his friends! What if he hates me? What if he thinks I’m the most awkward, weird girl he’s ever met? What if Harry realizes that I’m a huge freak and he never wants to see me again?” 

Anna gave her a sarcastic look. “Once again, quit being a drama queen. It’s still my job.” 

Lainey plopped down on her bed, cradling her head in her hands. “Anna. You aren’t helping.” 

Anna came to sit beside her, pushing the pile of clothes out of the way with a flick of her hand. She wrapped an arm around Lainey’s shoulders and said, “If Harry never wants to see you again, he’s the biggest idiot in the entire world. He would be so lucky to date you.” She laughed a little. “And I’m sure he won’t care what you’re wearing either.” 

Lainey gave her a look of disbelief. “How would you know?” 

“Well, he’s a dude. And let’s be real here—dudes have eyes for tits and ass, not fashion. He would probably prefer if you weren’t wearing anything honestly. But that might be a little too kinky for meeting one of his friends.” Anna told her with a broad grin. 

Lainey punched her friend’s arm, turning slightly red in the face. “Can you not?” 

“Sorry. It’s just too damn easy to mess with you.” Anna said, her teasing grin turning into a fond smile. Lainey rolled her eyes, before she got back up and began to dig through the pile of clothes on her bed. “What are you looking for?” Anna asked her curiously. 

Lainey threw a shirt on the floor before she answered. “I have no idea. I’m hoping maybe I’ll know when I see it.” 

The other girl sighed and held out her hand to Lainey. She stared at it in confusion, unsure of what Anna’s intentions were. Anna stared back, giving her a look like she should already know what she wanted. But Lainey wasn’t exactly the best with social skills, so she asked, “What are you doing?” 

Anna rolled her eyes again. “Telling you to come with me, genius.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I’m going to help you. So get up off your ass.” 

Lainey was still wary. “How are you gonna help me exactly?” 

“I’m going to let you borrow some of my clothes again. Duh.” 

“I don’t think that your clubbing dresses are appropriate for hanging out at someone’s flat.” Lainey said this as delicately as possible, remembering the outfit that Anna put her in when they went out last. She was already uncomfortable running into Harry when she was wearing that. So there was no way in hell she would meet one of his friends in it. 

Anna huffed at this comment. “Calm down, Robinson. I know how to dress you.” She gestured to her outstretched hand again. “While we’re young, please?” With a sigh, Lainey put her hand into Anna’s and allowed herself to be dragged off to the other girl’s room. ‘I’m so going to regret this.’


End file.
